Protecting Hands and Feet in the Cold

One of the underlining effects of MCTD and Lupus for me is Raynaud’s which is a circulatory issue with my hands and feet.  Some people experience it in the tip of their nose but I do not have that symptom.  My Raynaud’s is considered severe and my fingers and toes have a purplish tint all the time unless I’m in hot yoga, sitting in my sauna, or baking in the sun on the beach.  Even working out and working up sweat, my fingers are still a bit purplish and that is simply because most environments are cool.  At work in a gym, even in my home my fingers are purple.  I try and keep my feet covered but it is hard to constantly keep my hands covered.  Thankfully most of last winter and this winter I am tucked away safe at home so if I do go out, I make sure to have my hands in gloves and my feet in warm comfy boots.  

My Raynaud’s does not hurt and I usually do not have the whiteness and numbness but if I don’t treat my hands and feet with love, I run the risk of forming calcium deposits that can break open and be opened sores.  A few years ago, I actually had a finger that got infected and it took months to heal.  Part of the problem is that blood does not flow to my fingers and feet properly so injuries and sores take a long time to heal.  I learned my lesson the hard way but now it has been a few years since I have had any problems and my goal every winter is to ensure that I keep my fingers and toes injury free.  I do have a medication for blood pressure that I use in extreme cold weather, but it gives me severe headaches since it is lowering my blood pressure and I don’t have high blood pressure.  I take it night but I wake up in the night with a terrible headache and it lingers the whole next day so as you can imagine I use this medication sparingly and only if I really am not able to protect my extremities naturally.  

Some people have had luck with acupuncture treating their Raynaud’s and I too have tried it but I didn’t have the same success. I think acupuncture is a great alternative to medications if it works and I’m sure others have tired essential oils, and other alternatives but I haven’t found a natural remedy yet for my Raynaud’s.  I work on my circulation with yoga, sauna treatments and just keeping up with exercise and good nutrition but unfortunately it isn’t quite enough to make the purple color disappear.   

Looking forward to the warmer weather so that it isn’t so severe but living Maine, I’m still 4-5 months away from any kind of warm weather.  I am looking forward to it, but it is a long ways away.   

Welcome the New Year

The New Year arrived very much like the last several for me. I didn’t see the ball drop. In fact, I really don’t remember the last New Year’s that I did see the ball. A friend of mine sent me some pictures this past weekend of a New Year’s where we were dolled up and out on the town and I do not have any reconciliation of this moment in time.  If I had not seen the pictures for myself, of myself I would have thought she was talking about someone else.  The New Year’s thing isn’t really for me.  I am not one to make new year’s resolutions and or have grand ideas about what the new year might look like, until this year.   

As I say good-bye to 2020, I realize I will never have another year like that one. A year of complete slowing down, even stopping in some cases.  A year that I devote to myself and my husband.  This year allowed for retreating inside, reconnecting to one’s self, and doing absolutely everything at home. A year that came with challenge, uncertainty and upheaval, but also a sense of calm, quiet, reflection and perspective.  Every day was dictated by weather, if it was nice or even slightly nice, we were outside, if it wasn’t, we were inside.  We used to work hard all week and wait for the weekend. A weekend of overbooking ourselves and being tired as we started the next work week.  The fatigue of this of round and round life style would cause me flares on Fridays or sometime on the weekend as my body would just give out and force me into rest.  I didn’t see this as it was happening but when the world stopped, when I stopped, I could see clearly.  I worked from home, although my husband had to leave every day to go to work when he got home it was as though he conquered the day, survived the day and relished in the fact of being home, safe, and content.  We looked forward to the weekends but for different reasons, we did more house projects, we golfed a ton in the months that allowed.  We even gave ourselves permission to sit and watch terrible trash tv.   

This year is the year for finding balance between the extremes, to do what really matters, what brings us joy as we and also just a sense of sitting and doing nothing if we need.  I used to think that sitting was a sign of laziness, but I realize that is just a perception people have or create.  Doing nothing is a sign of growth, contentment, satisfaction and a clue that you enjoy being with yourself and maybe your significant if you invite them to sit and do nothing with you. With MCTD and Lupus I am not still not going out and doing stuff but as the people around me feel the COVID fatigue and winter blues they are determined to get out and start living again, I will continue to watch from the safety of the home and maybe feel jealousy that I too cannot just give in to fatigue or will I feel sorry for them that the fatigue maybe an indication that they are not content with themselves. I really don’t know.  My husband said to me early on this COVID state that he was so surprised that I was ok being home and not losing my mind.  I don’t have the luxury of feeling cooped up, of feeling stuck, of losing my mind, because I don’t have a choice but to stay safe, to stay healthy, because I don’t know what would happen if I got COVID.  Maybe nothing would happen, maybe it would be unbearable, maybe it would be deadly.  Those risks do not allow me the opportunity to feel antsy so I don’t.  

Yes, I do want to see friends and family and I do want to travel again and even go out on a date with my husband.   This time is temporary, so I look forward to seeing this year bring change, to opening back up, to living outside my house a little more but I also want to hold on to the sense of stillness, of being content right in this moment, to feeling safe, to waking up each day flare up free, and to start dreaming again.