WHO KNEW?

 After all these years of being afraid to be on a bike and riding a bike, I have become addicted to spinning. I am taking as many spin classes as I can during the week and each time I leave there I feel totally fatigued but so inspired to go back again. I am training and getting ready to do a 50 mile bike ride for the Tour de Cure in June and although spinning is probably very different than riding a real bike outside on the open roads, we all have to start somewhere. In the coming weeks I will researching good bikes to buy and familiarizing myself with riding on the roads around me.

Living in Maine lends itself to many quiet roads but also incredibly big hills so when we are doing hill work in spin class I am really pushing myself hard. I know along my journey of bike riding I will be faced with some intimated hills that may make me want to turn back, but really where will I go? Life is all about trying new things, accomplishing those things, and failing at things too. Although we try and keep our failings to a minimum to pretend we will never fail or we never do fail is not realistic.

I was with my trainer during one of our sessions and we had just finished some mitt work, or striking in boxing terms. He looked at me and said sometimes you get knocked down but you have to get back up. My eyes got wide and looked at him in all sincerity and asked if he was going to knock me down. He smiled and said that he wasn’t going to knock me down, that I was going to knock myself down, but I would get back up. Basically I was learning to fall and protect myself, while doing a “Turkish getup” to build my core and pick myself up off the mat. Since that moment I have been knocked down by life, by words, by people’s actions but I continue to get back up. I want to get back up. I am at a place in my life where I feel strong, I feel capable, and feel like now is the time to try everything that I ever wanted to.

I am feeling healthy and write this post with having 236 days without a flare in front of me. Each day that comes and goes that I don’t flare gives me another day of strength. My mother asked me what I thought the reason was that has kept me flare-up free for so long and although I don’t really know I do believe that each passing day brings strength to keep me on the right track. When I have a flare it takes me days, or weeks to fully recover which means those are days that I’m not feeling strong or capable and that lends me to lower more vulnerable times in my life. If I can stay flare-up free I can continue to try new things and yes get knocked down but continue to get back up and trying something new. 

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