TIME TO START OVER

Today is the day after Christmas and with all the celebrating that has taken place in my life for the last month I’m glad this holiday season is coming to an end.  I am anxious to get back to regular eating, sleeping and living. I’m ready for quiet weekends with my husband, catching up on things that make us really happy like being alone and together.  We are both extremely thankful for the families we have and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves this holiday season.  The love and laughter we shared with our families is exactly what this holiday is all about. This year was low stress as it should be and we were able to see as many people as possible.

Now I turn over a new leaf and start to focus on my health. I don’t usually make New Year’s Resolutions but I actually want to make one this year.  I am not waiting until Jan 1^st to make it however, because today is my turning point.  I’m putting my energy and determination into my health and focusing on decreasing my inflammation levels.  I can finally start the AIP protocol and really see what effect food and diet have on my overall health.  I wouldn’t say that this holiday season I just gave into all temptations but I also cannot say that I have made any real positive progression in my MCTD health.  I know that sugar and gluten affect my inflammation so now I can really focus on eliminating this from my daily diet and see what kind of positive changes I can make.

I have 8 weeks until my next Rheumatology appointment and when I arrive at that appointment I would like to be feeling better and stronger.  I would like the fluid in my hands to be less and I would like my strength to be shining through when my doctor sees me.  He is always expecting something new and different from me but this time I’m expecting something different from him too, I’m ready for him to tell me that there is a significant decrease in my inflammation levels.  At this point I’m working solely on getting MCTD as quiet as possible.  I’m ready to start decreasing medications again, with his approval of course.  I’m ready to only feel soreness from my weight training no sore throats that can accompany healing from weight training.  Mostly I’m ready to wake up, climb out of bed and hear no creaking in my joints as I make my way to getting ready to work out.  I’m 40 years old but my creaks can sometimes sound as loud as an old oak door on an extremely old house.  My creaks need to be whispers; my joints need to feel great all the time not just when I’m coming out of a hot Bikram studio, or after I have walked for 5 miles.  I want my body to feel like it did….  I can’t finish that sentence because I don’t have a point of reference for when I felt great, but I’m ready now to start a new point of reference. I am looking for a new baseline where I can say that I really feel wonderful.  I certainly feel better and I do think that the changes I have made thus far are really helping despite the fact that it is not familiar to others.  I’m ready to see my blood work and have it read the same as a normal person’s blood work up.  I’m ready to drop prednisone all together and perhaps even my Mobic.

As I write the words I’m ready to drop Mobic I actually got a twinge of anxiety because I know that is the medicine that gets me out of bed every day and able to do whatever I want that morning. This medicine is what allows me to work as hard as I do, spend as much time chasing after my nephew as he will allow and allows me to be self-sufficient and not rely on my husband for everything. The idea of not taking it is liberating and exciting as well as frightening.  I know that my doctor will say this is the last one to go if any of my medications can be let go, but this is the one that would confirm that my body was healing from the inside out.  I don’t want to have a broken metabolic system and I don’t want to continue to do more damage by taking these stomach harming medications but it is so very important to me to find a balance I can live with.

With the help of my trusted doctor and I do say that with all that is honest in me, I’m ready for us to work together with another specialist that can analyze my lifestyle, diet, fitness, sleep, MCTD symptoms, and figure out a full life prescription detailed for me and only me.  I’m putting all the faith I have into finding the right balance but I know that I’m determined enough to do it.  My New Year’s Resolution starting Dec 26^th 2012 is to make choices that only benefit me in finding my remission for MCTD.