BACK TO ZERO

Happy Thanksgiving, yes I’m a few days late but for good reason.  I will write about it in the next blogs but my husband and I skipped off to Kripalu for the a little Thanksgiving detox and decompress.  However, before I write about all our experiences there I first must write about an experience that I’m less than thrilled about but it is part of MCTD.

I wrote about sitting in the cold on Sunday and having my legs seize up on me as I was leaving.  I was having trouble breathing and my entire body hurt.  My husband didn’t want to bring it my attention then but he brought it up to me on Tuesday and gently mentioned that I was living in denial and as much as he wanted me to continue with my flare  up free days I had to start back at zero. I had a flare on Sunday in all aspects other than having a fever but I woke up with a fever on Tuesday morning and he said if I was being fair to myself and living mindful of this disease I had to come clean with myself that I had a flare and have to start over.

He is right on all levels but I think I wasn’t initially counting it as a flare because it was gone as soon as I was warm and we both thought this time the flare was so incredibly quick because I am stronger and healthy and taking better care of myself.  I wanted so badly to reach 200 days and came so close but just counting days isn’t the reason I do this. I do it because I want a real assessment of how I’m doing, what is working and what isn’t working. I wasn’t being true about my self assessment by not admitting that I had a true flare up and now I need to work every day to achieve multiple days in a row without another flare.

Due to the holiday and our traveling my Bikram practices have been almost non-existent except for a wonderful practice with my sister on thanksgiving day which I’ll also write about later.  However, getting into the Bikram studio on these cold days is what keeps the fluid off my joints and especially out of my hands.  While at Kripalu doing our yoga classes there was so much fluid in my joints that I was stiff in postures and downward facing dog was really hurting my fluid filled wrists. Tomorrow I can get back into Bikram for regular practices, getting some of this fluid off and hopefully start feeling like my normal self.  In winter I typically have more flare-ups do to the cold and the fatigue that comes with lack of sunshine and just running around during the holidays.  This season will be about keeping stress down, positive thoughts up, Bikram practices regular, cross fit sessions strong, and walking every chance I get to stay limber and loose while I maneuver through another cold winter season.

Today is 7 days without a flare-up and getting back on track with a new game plan that will incorporate some cold weather therapy to get this body accustomed to being in the cold and having it adapt not shock it into flare.

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2 thoughts on “BACK TO ZERO

  1. Jennifer Hawley November 26, 2012 at 4:05 pm Reply

    Its Thanksgiving so I am sure you are thankful for the time you did go without a flare- you inspire me at the number of days you did make it. I am at 40 days and think its heaven right now- Plaquinil is a god send. I am still taking baby steps to my goals. Thanks for sharing.

    • mevsmctd November 26, 2012 at 6:02 pm Reply

      Jennifer You are correct, I’m thankful for the days I had I was just wishing for more. That “more” is exactly what keeps me searching, trying and exploring. Yes, I’m extremely grateful but not satisfied!!!! Keep up with your baby steps since they all matter.

      ________________________________

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