This morning I was so excited to go to Bikram and see all my fellow yogis and have a wonderful practice. As I walked in to the studio and found my spot I was ready. I went to talk to some of the women there and realized my jaw was starting to hurt to the point where I really couldn’t speak. I decided to head in and lie in savassana and just breathe through it.
When the instructor came in and we had to stand for our first breathing exercise I realized at that moment I was starting to flare. I could slowly feel the pain creeping into my feet and trickle up through my body. My throat became very sore and swallowing was becoming difficult. I had 2 choices, the first was to leave but as I have written before if I allow myself to leave then I feel like I’m giving into my MCTD and my flares which I’m not willing to do. So plan “B” modify my practice, stick it out for the 90 minutes and rest as much as I needed. I did every posture except for camel but some modified versions and after class just gingerly got ready for work and here I am. My flare is over and really they can happen that fast and be over that fast for me. They don’t feel good while they are happening and although I’ll probably be pretty tired the rest of the day I do worry about the jaw pain. Talking is still a bit hard for me and considering my career is based on my ability to speak today could be challenging but as I have learned more than once I have to take it one step at a time.
The good news is that I will have the next 5 days to rest and relax and enjoy some serious R&R with my husband and our kayaks and not a lot of talking has to take place. It will be my time to find some balance.