This past week I was hit with a double whammy of flare-ups. Having more than 1 per month hasn’t happened to me in a very long time but having 2 flares occur in the same week hasn’t happened in years. I had a full blown flare last Saturday that put me in bed for the entire day. The flare consisted of pain in all joints, shakes, fever, sick to my stomach and a severe headache.
I thought I was better and proceeded with my week as normal but on Thursday of the same week the exact same thing happened. This flare put me in bed for 2 days. I very rarely end up in bed for more than a few hours so I know I had pushed my body to an extreme. I believe it had to do with traveling for 2 weeks, emotions over my grandmother, stress from work and life in general and I just didn’t listen very well to my body so it yelled at me and forced me to stop and take notice.
I kept up with my modified Bikram program and forced myself to walk 5000 steps every day which meant time in bed and a little time moving around and more time in bed. If I don’t constantly keep moving my joints just stiffen up even more and it makes it harder to get going later. This way I know even if my body says it doesn’t want to move my brain is much stronger and says it must move. This is what keeps me going even though I know I will always have these flares. As long as I can move slowly and put one foot in front of the other even slowly and gingerly I know I can overcome the tough times. Mentally I need a break like everyone but I don’t allow myself the break because then it makes it easier to let myself off the hook another time and my ambition to be better is what keeps me managing my MCTD on a daily basis.
This weekend I wasn’t running any races but I was living life at my normal and out walking the golf course with my mother. I wouldn’t say I was hitting the ball well but I was out there and giving her great tips and making her golf game a lot better. Life doesn’t stop even if I don’t feel well so I have to keep going as well. My husband just hugged me this weekend and said I don’t know where you find the strength but I’m so proud of you. I love hearing those words.