Ever just wake up feeling sad? I am feeling that way today. I’m not upset about anything in particular just feeling out of sorts and trying to focus that energy into more positive areas. This doesn’t happen to me often, thank goodness, but it is happening now. I have not changed or increased any medications. I do have a lot going on and feeling slightly stressed but I usually get other stress symptoms not sadness. My body is feeling good so I just need my mind to feel good again.
Even people without MCTD have to feel sad for no apparent reason. I can usually contribute it to a change in medication or if I try to decrease a medication too quickly I feel this type of sadness. Perhaps this is just life hitting me and making me aware that I need to take better care of myself mentally as well as physically.
My Bikram practice was designated around me this morning. I usually set an intention or send my light to someone else that I think needs my positive energy and today that person is me. I went to Bikram this morning instead of my new Tuesday morning power yoga class so I could just fall into a focus of a yoga I’m very familiar with and leave my sadness on the mat. As the sweat was dripping off of me I was saying good-bye to all the things that are in my brain this morning. I was not crying but I certainly could have. I wanted to leave all emotions on my mat this morning and let all those feelings just pile up on my towel in one big wet heap and then not worry about them again for the entire day. It kind of worked but I still have some residual feelings that were left behind that I need to deal with as the day goes on.
Work is not the place to be dealing with these types of feelings and issues but I can get more out at lunch time perhaps I will need a stress reliever of a good solid hour of heavy sweating again on the elliptical or maybe even a run through Portland. I haven’t done any running this summer but I’m ready to just lay it all out and get back to feeling normal, content, happy, and ok in my own brain.