SLOWLY COMING BACK

  I’m 10 days into this now and honestly that was probably the worst I have ever felt in my life. Today I’m starting to feel a little normal again and when I woke up I was in the mood to journal and read. My 3 hobbies are reading, writing, and exercising and I haven’t done much or any of them in 10 days. I couldn’t even think about it because I was so focused on just getting myself back to normal. This was unlike anything I had ever experienced because I would take 5 steps and be so out of breath I would have to sit and recover. This coming from someone who can spend hours doing cardio and I never thought my lungs could feel that bad.

I had the flu and bronchitis. I pride myself on not getting sick and here I ended up with a cold and the flu. The flu is over and the cold is on the way out but I’m told I might hold on to this cough for sometime. Which means, I’m back to journaling and reading but I’m not back to exercising. I could just end up making my lungs worse if I push it but at the same time they are muscle just like any other muscle so when I get back to the gym I have to work them slowly until they regain full strength. Not to mention the rest of my muscles are pretty weak as well since they have not been used in nearly 2 weeks. I am experiencing something I haven’t had to in 7 years and I don’t think I like it.

My husband and I joked that if I were normal it would be so much better. Well welcome to normal. The whole world fights colds and flu daily and I wasn’t one of them. Even during a flare or right after I was back to business and living again. I haven’t even felt alive enough to live these past several days. That is changing and I’m really on the road back but it slow and I have to kind to myself and push myself or I’ll end up right back where I started. I’m ready to live again and get outside and take a deep breath of fresh air with out about passing out. I want to have a full conversation with my husband without being interrupted with coughing or needing to catch my breath. I want to see my family and friends without worrying they will be contaminated by my germs. Part of me is even missing my co-workers and find out what they have been doing. That will all have to wait another day or so until I’m really back to feel good and able to move about without exhaustion. I’m slowly coming back, slowly.

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